When I was little my brother had a bug collection, where exotic little bodies lay forever still on a large display of cardboard wrapped in black velvet. I begged him to let me see it, and pored over the tiny details, carried away by the gruesomeness of death. Butterflies, beetles, centipedes and spiders rested in careful rows, each stabbed through with a large shiny pin. Eventually Mom forbade me to see the bug collection, because the following night I always had nightmares. I still have a reocurring spider dream, where I open my eyes to see a particularly horrifying looking spider crawl across the bed near my pillow. I’ve jumped out of bed in fright.
I didn’t have it in me to search the laundry room for this flat spider, hopefully he would find his way out the same way he got in. Sure enough he showed up in the garage a few days later. Officially called the Salenopid crab spider, you might want to just call him Flattie. He’s going to see you coming, because he has six eyes, and his eight legs are poised in a classic creepy posture. Mainly found in the Southwest, this crevice dweller waits in ambush for his prey. He moves sideways at lightning speed. Flattie is harmless to humans and consumes lots of other bugs. After looking at loads of spiders on the Internet to get an identification, I can only hope for no nightmares tonight.